The Fly

I have a friend who loves to look for me. He could have stayed miles away or in a faraway land and yet he would still drive all the way just to ask me out for a drink or breakfast (he stays in Sentul for those who are familiar with KL areas). Previously, he used to come early Saturday morning to my house, waited for me downstairs for half an hour or so, just to do breakfast together. How ghey is that? If he's not married with a kiddo and is expecting another one, my parents would have thought us a couple.

The worst thing of this strange relationship is that I have ZERO topics of interest to talk to him. Whenever he come, I'd make sure Loochoomus or someone is around. Otherwise I'd die of boredom. Seriously, there is nothing to talk. And his bored face will demotivate even the most excited child. Think of the kind of effect it will have on me. Everytime we met up I wish I would just disappear. I started hallucinating. I wish I am on drugs so I can be at least a little bit happier - yes... it is *that* bad!

Like ZipD said, at least DogBone has topics to talk. This guy is totally boring! I think the word bore is actually an acronym of his real name.

There were many times I avoided him, you know, not picking up the calls or not returning any missed call. He just didn't get it. I even told him off to his face. Nada. No result. Sometimes, going out breakfast on Saturday, I would put on a real pissy face just to show him how reluctant I was to be woken at 9am on a Saturday morning. Nothing works.

Then I met Anne. I thought I was saved. I thought he would at least understand. But that fucker went and quit his job and from being bored at his life (with a full time job), he's now almost bored to death because of too much time at home. Really.. imagine someone who has ZERO interest in life (no hobbies, no interest, no life, bla bla) and now he is at home 24x7! Of course he's bored. Of course he'd start calling me.. now EVEN on week days! Wo de tian ahh!!!! Someone please help me.

Tonight while I dating, the fucker called me. I silenced the phone. He called again. I switched off phone in disgust. And guess what? My sister told me he called my house! How ghey is that? People are dating, so stop calling, you prick! Before I move (to the new house), he would even come to my place without calling in advance. He'll just ring the door bell. I become traumatic when I hear the door bell. It's him.. no no no no no.. it's himmmm!

So, sometimes he would show up, right? And I'd be playing online games with ZipD or playing a single player game. He would sit beside me and just stare at the screen. Then he would put on a bored face. He would stare and be bored. Then he would move a bit here.. a bit there, as though being uneasy and uncomfortable and trying to tell me to stop playing so we could go out. Sometimes I feel bad. But when I think that going out = getting 10 times as bored at mamak, I put on my "ignore mode". I tell myself I am alone in my room. He's invisible. Let me play my games in peace. He will go away soon, oh please do go away.

My friends said I am cruel. You are single and have all the time in the world. So, accompany him a bit lar since the rest of us have family and have no time. Fine. I can accept that. I have endure it for so many years, after all. But the situation has changed. And I draw the line tonight! Seriously! Fucker.. STOP CALLING ALREADY!!!!


  1. Update: Maybe I overacted. This morning my friend asked me where did I go yesterday night. I said I pak toh. He said "my bad... go go go!!! this year is considered good year to get married!!!"

    So.. looks like he knows what to do also. Let's hope there's less calls :P

  2. Who the fuck is that fucker?! Mah ke chibet, you deep-throat him ke? Jokes aside, the fact that you have been entertaining him by going out with him for breakfast consistantly makes it like a weekly ritual that he has to perform. Maybe it's your ability to tolerate his bored demeanor appealed to him so much so he enoys your company to the point of borderline gayism. Anyway, it's your fucking fault for creating a monster. Just tell him to feed some cocroaches.


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