Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I am here, to serve

Last Saturyday, while having tea with Loochoomus, we talked about some of our old friends Some of these friends used to look me up on weekend for breakfast. I used to enjoy the company but soon it became work.. a job. My Saturdays schedule are set in stone. Breakfast with Freeman at 9am, Loochoomus at 11am, ZipD at noon. Sometimes (not all the time) with Guderain at 2pm. It's almost clock-like. I became bored and started to complain. I dropped hints. Please don't disturb me. Leave me in peace. At times I get nasty. I refused to talk during breakfast and just give a one/two word answer. As usual, my thick skinned friend ignore me. The situation get worse when most of them get married. The Saturday rituals involved wives! Then babies! You can't blame me for running away!

I told Loochoomus this and he made an observation. He said that I have this effect on people.. even during school days. People want to be my friends. They enjoy my company. They can come from all walks of life, with all sort of interest; they can be English Ed, Cina Ed or in Guderain's case, of different races and yet, we can still have lots of things to talk about. Loochoomus said that Guderain and him share a lot of similar interests and yet, he (used to be) closer to me than to Loochoomus.

This is also true in my adult/working life. If I really want to, I can be a lot of people's best friends :D

My mother use to say, how come I don't attract girls as much as I attract friends? I have no idea.

You know, now that I think about it, what Loochoomus said, it is quite true. I was really popular at school. And in truth, that was because I was fun to be with. I played a lot. I was basically the kid in school. I never grow up. I played and played and played...

Then I stopped playing... and I never recovered. Now I am just boring old ringgit. Even then, the aura is still there. Loochoomus said I should treasure all this friendship and not discard them for I may wake up one morning and find that I am totally alone.

Perhaps that is my purpose in life. To be there to whoever who needed it. To be a loyal companion. To be a friend. To continue playing. To be the fun guy. Perhaps I am supposed to go lunches with Ngor Lou Kong or be nicer to Monica. Perhaps I should start calling Guderain and Freeman (did I tell you that I don't call my friends?). Perhaps I should also start writing to Numeronean and his sister. Perhaps I should stop feeling sorry for myself and start being nice to people.

"I live to serve" .. eh?

Oh well.. we'll see how it goes.

Morning's here...

I used to ask a few friends what is the first thing that came to their mind when they wake up every morning. What's the first feeling they had when they regain consciousness. Some said that the first thought that they had was to drag their sorry ass to drive to work. Some said that they just don't want to wake up but to continue sleeping - to hell with work and bosses. Some really positive type of people (are they for real?) will jump out of their bed, smile at the mirror and scream "I'm well, I'm alive and I feel good".

Me? I feel empty every morning when I wake up and the feeling is so scary that I can't get back to sleep anymore. I finally understand the real feeling of loneliness. Brr..


I found out that the psycho-SMS is indeed a prank, played by ZipD's cousin sister. In fact, it was a group prank, if there is such a term, as everybody including DogBone and his wife were involved. Ha ha.. guys. Funny.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Christmas Tree

When I came to work this morning, I was surprised to see a really nice Christmas tree in the room. It was nicely decorated in silver and blue with accompanying blinking lights. I knew right away that it is Bonnie's job. I am really impressed. She has liven up this otherwise boring room.

I have always feel that if Bonnie weren't so immature and emotional, she can really be a good leader and motivator!

Bonnie, thanks. It's a great Christmas tree today and I am sure it takes a lot of work to decorate it.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

iPod Around the World

ipodlounge has a side bar that is titled "iPod around the world." It is a database for iPod users/fans to take pictures of places they have been. The main "character" of the picture is, of course, the iPod. Today's feature is this picture:

anti-ringgit, when are you getting your iPod?

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Living In Egypt: A Blog

I have stumbled upon this blog by pure chance. It was an extremely good read about life in Egypt. This lady write really well. She's a Canadian and have been staying in Egypt for the past 20+ years. She writes about life in Cairo, life as a Muslim, life in the country-side but did not go too much into politics and war (unlike most of the blogs I found). It's a delight to read this blog. I would venture so far as to say that her blog is as entertaining as the stories told by Mido, except she's telling story of current affairs in Egypt, not historical.

I have spent the whole Saturday afternoon (and Sunday) reading this and if you are bored and wanted to know more about life in Egypt, click on:

"Egypt isn't what it appears to be in the media...but that's no real surprise, since not much is. I moved here in the late 80's from Toronto, Canada, with my Canadian/Egyptian husband, my son and my daughter. The children adapted quickly and we decided that this country was a good place to live. Now I wouldn't change my home for anything."

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Look ma! I have a Secret Admirer

These days, I have been getting pranks sms:
SMS: I miss you so much. it is hard not able to be true :-(

Who the heck was that? Must be some really pokai friend. I can think of a few. Nvm. Let's play along...

Me: I miss you too but you have to tell me which of my girlfriends are you.
SMS: How come you did not reply to my calls and messages? I thought what we had was special. you said it so...
Me: Well, that's because of the many deranged, psychotic girls that keeps on pestering me.
SMS: I hope you can give me a chance to talk things through. I miss you and dont want to loose you.

Obviously mentally sick. Can't even spell properly.

Me: Nah. No thanks. My heart is with someone else at the moment.
SMS: I dont believe you are so cruel . I have known you for a year and you definitely dont look like it . I was hoping we could start being friends?

Hmm.. sounds like someone who really knows me. ZK? He's capable of such games as he has played this a few times. Anyway, I am watching The Incredibles, so ignore.. ignore..

SMS: Why are you ignoring me?
Me: Watching movie.

Next morning.

SMS: Sorry to disturb you yesterrday .i am not ready to tell you who i am but i do see you most working days . I am not crazy but i do like you alot. How old are you?

BONNIE? Bonnie, is that you???

Me: Truthfully, I don't think I know you. Perhaps you have the wrong number? What's your name anyway?
SMS: Ops maybe i got the wrong number but i doubt it. Are you a girl or a guy? What is your name ?

AHA! GOTCHA. Just because I have a girly name does not mean I am your dream girl, prick! Go haunt someone else.

Me: I am a man and I asked you your name first.
SMS: My name is kat, you are [ringgit] right?

OMG! Kat! He/she knows me! Must be that ai jai in the office. I quickly message the ai jai.. Did you disturbed me? He said no - he's not so childish. He quickly dial the number. It rang but nobody picks up.

Me: You got my name right but I don't know any kat.
SMS: Well my real name is not kat but I assume you know who i am as you did call a while ago using youroffice number am i right? Ha ha

Very funny, Psycho.
But.. how did he/she knows that it is from my office? He/she's working in my company?

Me: Well, if I wanted to call you, I'd have use my handphone and not hide behind an anonymous number.

There you go! Eat this coward!

No messages. Then weekend came.

SMS: Hello again ! What are you doing? You know who i am yet?
Me: Nope. Are you going to tell me your name or are you still interested in playing this game?
SMS: The fun is in the chase not the catch... :) what did you do last weekend?

Here. I totally ignore and decided not to reply. What a freak!

Sigh, when you look this good.. you always get harrass. What to do.. what to do... :P

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


Today I am very proud of myself. My 2nd line manager told me that the company appreciates my leadership and that they have plans to retent me. Hearing such words made me feel extremely honoured.

This company has changed my life. It changed my perspective of life. If it wasn't for this company, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'd probably be working in some Cinaman company, have a narrow state of mind and are probably in a worse situation than where I currently am. I'd view life differently. I probably do not have much dreams. How could I? I came from a kampung. You can always tell the difference between someone who was from my company and someone from a local company.

I probably can't (or won't) go places and see the world. I probably don't know great people like kimmikanuyi, Greedy and anti-ringgit.

I have my first manager, tlg, to thank, for it was she who gave me the opportunity.

Today, I have my second manager in the company and my 2nd line manager, cky and cgk to thank.

And I have more headaches and dilemma now.

Luxor Today

Yahoo! has a feature called My Yahoo! which you can customize to include your favourite news items, your stocks price, your to-dos, reminders and your weather alert. I use My Yahoo! weather to keep track of all the cities I have visited.

I was browsing My Yahoo! when I saw what a wonderful day it is in Luxor, Egypt today! The weather's perfect in Aswan and Cairo too. Wouldn't it be great if I were there now, listening to all those wonderful stories in the cool temple air? Or cruising down the Nile with the cool breeze blowing on your face at any time of the day (instead of just in the evening)? Or walking along the beautiful Luxor Temple in the chilly night?

Sigh... I think I have never left Egypt. Posted by Hello

Monday, November 22, 2004


Today, at the leadership symposium, someone asked our Asia Pacific GM on how we, as potential leaders, can be as successful as he is.

He said that he thinks that it is important to:
1. focus on the clients and customers
2. be optimistic as when you are optimistic, the attitude will follow
3. respect your fellow colleague as only with respect you can get things done.

As kimmikanuyi said... dashyatnya [the coincidence]

Saturday, November 20, 2004

What's in a name?

I get disturbed when people can't get my name right. I am especially disturbed when Asians can't get my name right. I feel like beating up people when MY FREAKING OWN TEAM MATE gets my name wrong! What's with these morons? How difficult it is to spell my name? ringgit.. 7 characters. There is no way in the world you can get my name wrong in an email correspondence. You see my name clearly in the "FROM:" field. How in the world can people get SO blind?

You see, I have the Business Partner whom I provide technical support via email. Read again: correspondence via email. That means whenever I write to him, my name, ringgit is spelt in each correspondence. If he looks at his Inbox, he sees this name. But yet.. he has consistently called me runggut.. runggut and ringgit.. it's an ocean of difference. Grr...

Then there is this kwai lo.. he called me ringgy.. I stare at my keyboard.. Y and T is as wide as the said ocean. How the heck can he get my name wrong? Are these people blind? If they are, they have no right to be in the IT industry!

And my team mate from Singapore whom I have met and had lunches a few times with.. he will email me and called me some bizarre name!!! WTF!??? In retaliation, I purposely spelt his name differently too. As expected, he hardly noticed. BLIND!

Edit: ringgit is obviously not my real name but I am using it as an example to show how moronic people can be.

Friday, November 19, 2004

More on Bonnie

Bonnie is freaking immature.

Our office is in this big room. Yesterday, my manager and I had to take a teleconference. Normally we would have taken it in a conference room. We could not do that yesterday because there was no one in the office and someone has to look after the shop. So we decided to have the conference call in the office.

When the conference started, Bonnie came it. She's went out to the toilet. Anyway, 10 minutes into the conference, she packed her notebook and walked out of the room. I knew what she's trying to say. She's implying that we were too noisy. Never mind that.

Later she sent me an instant message.

She asked me to let her know when we are done. I said ok, we are done. You can come back. Then she started saying that we were too noisy and we should take the call in a conference room. This was expected. Bonnie was outspoken as usual. This time however, she has crossed my line. I told her the reason we had the conference in the office instead of the room. Then I said that we don't do it often and that she should be more tolerance of the whole thing. I said sometimes you talked crap or sing in the office (loudly mind you). Those were very distracting also. She shot back saying that one hour of people in a conference is more distracting than her 5 minutes of chatting and singing. I said well, to you it may just be 5 minutes, but to me, that 5 minutes are already distracting. She challenged me to ask the team on our weekly meeting to see if it is distracting. I said I don't want to do that because I don't want to tell people what to do. Then don't tell me what to do, she said. I replied.. you started the whole thing by telling me what not to do and besides, we are talking about business stuff, not crap which you normally did. Quiet.

Cold war has started.

During lunch time today, Bonnie and another colleague started making sandwich in the office. They could have done it in a pantry but no sir.. office it is. While making toast, they laughed and talked. I looked at her and said please lower your voice. I told this is what I meant yesterday (ie she always point out people's fault but forgets her own). She started being offensive and whenever someone asked what she's making, she would say that ringgit don't allow her to talk.

Is she childish or what?


The Purpose Driven Life

kimmikanuyi lend me this book called The Purpose Driven Life. It has to be read over 40 days, one day a chapter. At the end of each chapter, there will be some points to ponder about.

I wanted to talk about the first chapter that I read but I can't think of anything to write today.

Mental block.

I'll write more next time.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Post-Egypt blues...

"ringgit let go", anti-ringgit, my friend, said one day when I asked him a question about Egypt. That statement struck me because what he said was true - it's almost 4 weeks since our tour and I am still thinking about it. When I asked other people about post-tour blues, the common answers are sure, you do get one but it is unusual for it to last as long as this.

What anti-ringgit does not know is that the trip has caused those little wheels in my brains to start turning again.

Please let me explain. Constant reader of this blog would have known that I get bored easily. The term I use to express this is sien. I am extremely jaded. I have tried a lot of things to put some spice into my life - things that are in my circle of influence: learning to dance, playing a guitar, taking up courses (like, *cough* accounting) and seeing the world. I am constantly in search of something that intrigue me; something that I'd like to do; something that would make me laugh out loud, something that is fun; something that I look forward to everyday.

Unfortunately, I never found that thing.

My friend, Zip, used to ask "what makes ringgit tick?". I have no answer.

In fact, the whole point of thinking to move to AU is my thoughts on doing something different. Something different from the norm. It's not a permanent move. It will be for a couple of years but at least, if I looked back, these couple of years will be memorable. I could move from city to city (eg Melbourne to Sydney or maybe to Brisbane). What I need is the $ and the courage.. but I disgress.

So how does Egypt comes into this whole discussion? The Egyptians (ancient and otherwise) understand the purpose of life. 5,000 years ago, humans are already pondering on the purpose of life. They believe that the current life is only temporary and what's important is the 2nd life in heaven. They believe in God. And their beliefs were so strong that they lived to serve God - the whole civilization exist to serve God. Look at the temples they built. Look at all those reliefs or "ukiran" as worded by mystic_grey. Every single one of the Egyptians, from the farmers, to the workers, to the architects and the astronomers to the High Priests and to the Pharaohs live to serve God with the purpose of being given a 2nd life in heaven.

Fast forward to 2000 years ago. Christianity and later, Islam, came to Egypt. Instead of temples, the Egyptians built churches and mosques to worship God. There are so many churches and mosques in Cairo that it’s mind boggling! I mean, I come from a Muslim country and we see mosques but it pales in comparison to the sheer number of mosques in Cairo.

When I listened to Mido talking about Islam in Mohammad Ali Mosque, I was enthralled. To hear this man talking about his religion and proclaiming (loudly) his love for God with utmost pride, inside a mosque in a country like Egypt, is truly magical. Perhaps my mind was more vulnerable because of the "tourist-y" state of mind. Perhaps not.

Religion and patriotism (love of one's country) has been the staple of human's existence. People kills each other to uphold their belief in their religion and for the love of their country. Both of these factors drive and shape a person's life. Without either one of them, a person's soul is empty.

Like mine. Pointless. Empty.

Loving this country is something I could not bring myself to do. There's nothing to love about MY. If I had a chance, I'd sell out this country. There's definitely no lost love here. But seeking God and worshiping Him... that's highly probable.

5,000 years of human history with war and death to uphold a religion can't be wrong.


Um, I, um, don't remember

Have you had a friend who constantly can't remember what you told him yesterday? What do you do with friends like that? Stop talking and let them do all the talking? What if they accused you of not listening to them when it was you who can't remember what they talked about the day before? Let me know in the comments.


There will be another leadership symposium this coming Monday. I will be attending. Sometimes I wonder if I am fit to be a leader. I lack all the traits of a leader - I lack proactiveness as I am reactive. I have no vision, I love procrastination. I hate public speaking, I type more than I speak these days. So, how in the world am I even identified as a potential leader?

Perhaps it is I have this boh chap attitude and therefore not prone to emotional trap. Perhaps I can think things logically. Perhaps I understand the broader scope of things and yet can grasps things that are few levels deeper. Perhaps the rest of the people are worse in comparison to me and I am just a we have no choice. Perhaps I am more mature. Perhaps I show respect to the management.

Or perhaps I could identify my own strengths and weaknesses. But I procrastinate i.e. I won't work on improving myself. It's a catch 22.

Is this what leaders think about everyday? I don't know. Life's a mystery.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Revenge of the bitch...

Due to popular demand, I present you, Mr Loverboy, Romeo! (real name Harry). For the past few days, he's driving our family nuts. The neighbour's bitch is, um, having "PMS" and it's driving him crazy. In fact, it's driving all the dogs crazy. All of a sudden, from no where, huge number of stray dogs are congregating in front of the neighbours house.. like some "open house". The neighbours are pissed. We are pissed. Romeo is depressed and not eating (again!). It's a crazy world! Posted by Hello

Actually, in my opinion, this particular neighbour is one irresponsible pet owners. They allow their pets (male + female dogs) to roam about the neighbourhood without leash and without supervision. Naturally, when the bitch is having "PMS" (darn, I don't know what is the term for it), she attracts all sort of dogs. What's worse, she has the ability to roam freely and attracts stray dogs from the nearby construction place. And they get pissed when other dogs come to their gates. They tried to shoo them away without knowing the real reason. Serves them right!

Anyway, I have given up on Romeo. No coaxing can get him to eat. Well, let him starve. I have my own depression to handle.. no need to add a dog's depression to my list :P

Amazing Race Season 6

Tonite is the 2 hour premier of Amazing Race.

That's right. My life's exciting moment is defined around games release dates and reality TV show.


Half Life 2 & Counter Strike: Source

Just a short note that Half Life 2 was activated on Steam yesterday at 4pm Malaysia time. Fortunately for me, yesterday was a public holiday (Hari Raya) so I played the game for a few hours.

AWESOME. It's a beautiful game! I am glad I paid RM230 for it - to show support for a job well done.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

What is respect?

I have been hearing this word a few times in the past month. In the TV series, The Sopranos, Tony Soprano told his nephew "to earn respect, you have to give respect". Mido, my guide in Egypt, said "you are listening to me but you are not respecting me". The Bomba (fire brigade) chief who was giving a speech in the office the other day said that "To be successful, you only need to remember two things. One obey the laws of God and two respect the rights of another human being". And finally, a friend, commenting on me wearing a T-shirt to a wedding as "not showing respect to the host".

And so, what is respect? Is it something that all of us looked for? I know that I dislike Bonnie because Bonnie doesn't show me respect and yet expected it from me. And if respect is so important, why aren't we taught as a child to show and expect respect from people?

Case in point: we were on our tour. Mido was explaining a relief to us. All of us are listening to him but we are also looking elsewhere and taking picture. He said we are not showing respect. I agree with what he said but I wonder, why aren't we paying attention? Do we think it is ok to listen and take picture at the same time? How come we were never thought to pay attention first and take pictures later?

I observed the same thing in my work place. We may be attending a class or we may be attending a meeting. The presenter are presenting his slides and talking in front of us. YET, many of us are busy typing on our notebooks in the guise of doing work. Are we listening to the presenter? I am sure we are. Are we showing respect? NO. And if respect is so important, how come it was never built deep into us? How come we were never told that to look at the presenter and listen in rapt is respecting him as the presenter? All we were told is that we are not paying attention and not listening. The word respect was never in the vocabulary.

Take this scene many years back.. back to school days. The teacher is teaching in the class. What were we doing? Drawing sketches in the exercise book. Flipping our pencils. Looking dreamily at that girl across the room. What did the teacher said when she caught us? She'll say that we are not listening to her, that we are not paying attention. How come she didn't use the word respect "You are not showing me respect!"?

I am glad that recent events sited in my first paragraphs has provided me exposure to the word respect. It is strange that this word came into my life in a duration of a month. It may be a coincidence or it may be a sign. I don't know. At least, it opened my eyes and perhaps make me into a better person.

Now I will give and expect respect :)

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

streamyx: reloaded

I ought to mention this earlier, that after all the teething problems and growing pains, my streamyx is now stable. On top of that, I received a free upgrade from 384kbps to 512kbps. YAY! \o/

Bonnie Strikes Again

Like an evil Empire, Bonnie strikes out again. I began to build a wall between me and her. I must treat her like a colleague, never a friend. I must act like a team lead in front of her, not as a friend. Her mouth is really, um, in Cantonese it is called "jin". I wonder if she realize she has a "jin" mouth?

This type of people can never get far.. and she's wondering why boss promoted another girl and not her.

Go look at yourself in the mirror and start brushing the damn mouth, girl. That's why.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Almost 2 weeks after Egypt...

... and I am still depressed. I thought I'd recovered but it seems I could not. This is perhaps one of the biggest impact a trip would have on me. I didn't feel as bad when I spent 3 weeks in Melbourne. 7 weeks in USA did not have a 2 week post-trip depression. What's happening here?