Skip to main content
Well, it's almost 6.30pm now. Time to go home. I have been thinking. Now that the house is done, I am kinda relieved. All the important things are in place. The reno, the furnitures, a/c, the touch ups, my desk, pc, etc. Now I am back to the boredom. I guess I really need to have something to do, to keep this mind occupied or I will start to be sien and start to think of some stupid shit things to do.

However, stupid shit things are stupid shit things. They do nothing except to occupy you for like 1 to 2 days. And they cost money. I have to be wiser now. Better to be sien than do stupid stuff that drain the pocket, eh?

Got a wedding invite from a fellow colleague, Joey (not his real name of course). Another one bite the dust... he's a comrade, always seeking for true love, like I do and I guess he has finally found *the one*. Some people are just so lucky.

Some of us, are, just sien.

I need a goal.. a aim... I need a reason to this thing call life. What is my goal now? What's my aim?

I wish I knew.

I need problems to solve.

Maybe I should really consider the AU thingy again.

Oooops.. am I implying that it has been on hold? Well, not really. The fact is that it has gotten harder and harder to just drop everything and start all over. 3 years ago, when I was still planning the move, it was still feasible. I have no liability, job was sucky, pay was bad, life was pretty bad. All my friends are happily married and I was not. All these stuff tend to bring one down - It was a heavy burden - heavy psychologically.

Now, I have a mortgage. Job was still sucky but at least it was properly compensated. Life, for the family and myself, has improved tremendously. However, it is still directionless. Still no goals. However, to drop everything and start all over in AU may not help alleviate it. I think that it would be a lousy deal. Imagine flipping burger with only $1000 per month? Or doing operator/support work for $2000. I have to pay rent and to pay the mortgage at home. Probably have to take train to work, eat home-made sandwiches because it's too expensive to eat outside. Can't afford to buy the games as they don't sell pirated stuff. Is this worth it?

On the other hand, it is an experience worth trying. After all, I only live once. I bet I'll regret it, 20 years down later when I looked back and found that I was still in MY. I have had many regrets.. I hope this is not one of them. 3 years ago, I remember being very afraid of spending the rest of my life in one country. Imagine living in this shithole KL for 70 years! I don't want to look back and regret. I don't want to look back, knowing I had a chance to change, and I didn't take it. I am really scared. ARRGGH! HOW? HOW? HOW?

Sigh..

Something to ponder in the still of the night, tonight.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One million daimoku

In April 2008, Anne and I started our resolution to chant 1 million daimoku in one year. It's already Jan - and I am only one-third of the way. I really need to WORK HARDER - coz I made another 1 million resolution from Jan - Dec 2009.

The chart you see on the right of this post is a chart that we put beside our butsudan. It tracked our chanting progress. Every 20 minute, we coloured one box. Mine is the one on top, Anne's at the bottom - you can see that she made much better progress than me! Hmmm.. come to think of it, I am not even at one third!!

---
Edit 22 March 2009: Thanks to Google, a couple of friends in faith found this post and they want to know how many hours of chanting is required to achieve one million diamoku. Here it is. Based on our publication in Malaysia, 20 minutes of chanting is equivalent to 1,000 daimoku. So, one hour is 3,000 daimoku. 1 million would take about 333 hours.

---
Edit 8 April 2018: Checking my blogger stats, this post is pretty high up in …

LG UltraWide Monitor 38WK95C Review

I bought this today. It was not an impulse buy. I spent months researching and then two months of waiting for stock from LG Malaysia.


Trust me, it is not easy to buy a modern monitor these days.

I have a few criteria:
ultra wide screen regardless of size - can be 32" or 34" or even 34"it must be IPS screen, not TN or whatever the other one is calledit must have USB-C to charge the MacBook Pro and also to extend the display of the MacBookit must have good speakers. Not the puny ones that some Dell monitor shipped with. Really good ones. I hate having to plug in the speaker jack from PC to monitorit should have G-Sync supportbonus - it has nice legs that doesn't take up space I have searched high and low. I looked for Asus, I looked at Dell and Alienware.. none of them ticked these checkboxes, particularly that USB-C one..

I realize that I really wanted the USB-C and good speakers. I don't really care about G-Sync because even though I still play games, I spen…

2017 Honda CRV in Malaysia! An owner's review

After years of driving an old car, I finally decide to change. And having a small family, I was eyeing a SUV. Last year, we were considering a Mazda CX5 because of its exterior look but after inspecting it in a showroom and then sitting on a Honda CRV, we have no doubt that Honda was the choice to go. Our decision was simply based on how spacious the interior cabin of the CRV is compared to the CX5.



And so, we have to decide whether to get one early this year or wait for the new CRV which was supposed to launch in May 2017 (well, that was before Honda Malaysia decided to delay the launch date after Raya). What made me wait for the new model was that the sales agent told me that the new CRV will have a new engine and Apple CarPlay! Being an Apple fan, as you can tell from this blog, I definitely wanted CarPlay. We dropped a deposit with the showroom sales agent in April.

I waited patiently and when Honda finally launched the car on 12 July, the wife and I went to the showroom for a lo…