Thursday, June 09, 2005

Ashamed of my friends...

A conversation with DroolMan (abridged):

DroolMan says:
ot questions
Ringgit says:
shoot
DroolMan says:
i have been reading your blogs, you really spend a lot of time on it
Ringgit says:
you do? oh. thx.
Ringgit says:
ai.. i dun write everyday lar.
DroolMan says:
and i was wondering, why have you *never* shown Anne to the guys?
DroolMan says:
even though you have been dating for so long
DroolMan says:
and seeing how Anne is so important to you
Ringgit says:
hmm.. i'm thinking.. is this a blog topic? lol
DroolMan says:
could be
Ringgit says:
well.. there is no reason lar
DroolMan says:
then?!
Ringgit says:
it's just that there's no correct timing
Ringgit says:
i dunno..
DroolMan says:
i mean, you have been dating like what, 4 months?
DroolMan says:
and in that period of time you didn't even bring her along with your outings with ZipD, Miss Peace, DogBone and YY??!
DroolMan says:
i was beginning to wonder if you are ashamed of show Anne who your friends (us "seniors") are
DroolMan says:
just like how ZipD refused to allow Miss Peace to drink with us at mamak stall in the early dating/marriage years
Ringgit says:
that's not true wor..
Ringgit says:
it's like this.. i dun see ZipD/Miss Peace as much anymore..
Ringgit says:
it's not like our younger days when we have more 'outings' / mamak sessions. everybody work late and it's kinda difficult to get the right time for everybody. What shld i say? "Let's all go out for a movie this weekend?" .. kinda strange and awkward.
DroolMan says:
yah but seeing your blogs, anne turns out to be THE ONE and usually this justifies a reason to show your friends who she is and also show anne your circle of friends
DroolMan says:
i asked Miss Peace have you shown anne to them and she said no, she asked ZipD, and ZipD being ZipD, it's his gf, if we are important to him to show, he will do it
DroolMan says:
the same thing he said about DogBone's engagement
DroolMan says:
which led to a fallout
Ringgit says:
hmm..
Ringgit says:
well.. i wanted to show her to our friends during Episode 3 but we couldn't make it
Ringgit says:
so it is not me being ashamed or anything but rather waiting for the right opp
DroolMan says:
so make it a point lah and bring her out to meet with the gang
DroolMan says:
i am sure if you ask them to meet, they will sure come one
DroolMan says:
some more everyone is in kepong
Ringgit says:
true.. i am guessing it is not a biggie lor..
Ringgit says:
i mean for me..
DroolMan says:
wei! biggie ok
Ringgit says:
but u r rite.. to ZipD, Miss Peace, DogBone, YY.. it may be a biggie
DroolMan says:
at least to us, we have been bugging you to find a gf and now you found your soul mate, we want to be a part of that process and see her also
Ringgit says:
u see, to me it is not a biggie because u guys already went through all these.. in fact.. u r in higher stages.. already like being father and such
Ringgit says:
so me dating Anne is like child's play in comparison
DroolMan says:
anyway, like i said, you cannot assume that just because we have gone through it, we are not keen to know about your progress
DroolMan says:
it is always a new perspective when someone goes through the experience of sharing love
DroolMan says:
take my word for it, make it a point to show anne to the gang, i am sure they will appreciate that you're sharing the news about you two with them
DroolMan says:
i am grateful that you told me about her at least when i read your blog, i could relate to your topics and appreciate your thoughts in the "stories" that you tell

*** end ***

Was I ashamed of my friends? I don't think so. I talked about them to Anne all the time. It's just that I've not brought her out to meet them. I brought her home to meet my parents, so why not meet my friends?

I have no answers at that time of our conversation. Today, I have put some thoughts into this and have analyzed my subconscious action. The answer is simple. I am a very private person and have always been. I remember one conversation I had with ZipD years ago. He complained that I never told him what I did or where I was going or who I met. All I said was, "I'm not free coz I am meeting a friend." No friend's name. No mention of meeting place. ZipD, on the other hand, will start telling you in details who he's meeting, where they are meeting, the exact time of the meeting, what they plan to do, etc. DroolMan would go into the same level of detail. That's why they could not comprehend why I didn't go into details and why the secrecy. Like I said, it's my private self. I have changed since then. I will tell him (and my other friends who called) where I am and who I am with but deep down inside I always wonder if they really care who I am out with or what I am doing.

My private self resulted in me not calling my friends or asking them out. If you know me, you would attest to this strange behaviour. The day I called you on the phone is like the day the moon turned blue. They know this. So they are the one who call or they are the one who stopped by my house and asked me out. I am a strange man. So, even after meeting Anne, I am still behaving like my own self - I still don't call people out.

Another reason could be due to all my failures in the past. Why bother to introduce the girl when it usually didn't work out anyway. Granted things are very different with Anne now but I am thinking that perhaps the ghosts of the past are still haunting me. So again, I work on this :)

I still also stand by what I said earlier that there wasn't any real opportunity to meet up. I mean, I can't ask Anne to meet my friends for the very first time in mamak where everybody is in their worn-out t-shirts and smelly shorts. It reminded of one blind date that Tai Lo wanted to set me up. Instead of having it in some air conditioned restaurant for dinner, he set me up with the date on a Saturday morning for breakfast! The venue was Restaurant Lim Kee, your typical coffee shop with 5 hawker stalls and lots of heat, grim and dirt. What sort of sane person would set up blind date like that? It spelled D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R right before I even meet the potential girl. That's Tai Lo for you. Insensitive!

Of course, like DroolMan said, it is an excuse. If I were to ask ZipD and wife out for a dinner in 1 Utama or Montes to meet up with Anne, they would have cheered. So, yeah... I'll work on it. OK?

3 comments:

crsne said...

i guess introducing ur friend to anne, will not only make them happy, i think anne will also be happy coz its make her feel she is important enough not only to meet ur parent but also ur best friend!

Btw, really like ur blog!!

rotitelur said...

I can totally understand what you are saying because we are the same type. D put me to talk to his friend, his relatives when we were dating which I didn't understand why. What was the big deal of dating. However, according to them, it is a big deal because they love D and they would really want to know more about his the other half. Until today, I am still avoiding some of D's friends and relatives but I guess I am doing much better now.

Bahija said...

well, I can be your witness. You declined to watch SW III with Bahija and Monyet, sebab you said u watched with your GOOD kakis, and this round - with Anne as well :) I knew part of the story why it tak jadi, and aiiii - u got to watch with Kuay Poh ( not bad also yeah ) ...Hey, dun forget, Bahija also want to meet her, kay ....u 2 kena lah pass some ONG to me :) cheersss ...i m waiting for the blog on her bday punya pengsan + kam tung scenario , hahaha

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