Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Emotions on Living In Malaysia

So, AR, our psychologist in training, suggested that I put emotions to the few items I listed in my blog, “Living In Malaysia”. In that post, I questioned the viability to continue living in Malaysia as the future looks bleak. He said that once I put emotion to my list, I will be able to bring forth my unconscious mind, thereby, I will be able to tell if I am acting out of past traumatic emotions or that I am clear in my statement. This is so I don’t make a drastic decision based on generalizing and base on emotions.

So here goes:
  1. Education – emotion – Disappointment – I didn’t do very well in STPM. But it wasn’t shabby either. But I was not offered a place in local University. On the other hand, my chocolate brethrens not only got into good University, some of them have government sponsored scholarship to overseas Universities. Things have not improved for the past 18 years after I graduate. I don’t think things will improved in the next 18 years when lil sen finished her STPM. I am disappointed that the system has failed me in the past and I am certain that it will continue to impact my children.
  2. Inflation – emotion – Stress and fear – I am afraid I will not be able to afford a good live in Malaysia at the rate inflation is going. I don’t think I will be able to afford overseas education for lil sen and her sister. And even if I do, I am afraid that I will have to make many sacrifices in life. Already I am not able to change to a new car (my Proton Wira turned 12 this year). Will I continue to be stagnant in the next 10 year? So I have a fear that the quality of life for myself and the family will be impacted at the rate of the inflation.
  3. Traffic – emotion – Anger because it was a waste of time – I still remember spending 2 hours getting from Kepong to TAR College in Taman Melawati. One way. In a day, I spent 4 hours getting to and fro to college. What do I do? I slept in the bus most of the time. In today’s crime laden day, you can’t even sleep in the bus lest someone snatched your bag away. But that is another story. I felt that the journey was a complete waste of time and it was inefficient. 4 hours of life wasted on commuting. I feel that things have not improved. In fact, it has worsen because now I (or one of my family members), will have to fetch my children to school. Two people’s time wasted – total of 4 hours!
  4. Politics and Stability – ok, I can’t tie an emotion to this because I don’t dwell on politics much and I have no prior bad experiences with it.
  5. Public Safety – emotion – fear – I read too much and heard too many snatch thieves and burglary incidents happening to relatives and I am afraid that it will happen to my family. Today, I double and triple lock my gates/door. I also ensure our room door is bolted. Is this the way to live? In fear?

Does it help?
No idea.
I think I want a refund of AR’s services!

Edit:

This transpired between AR & me:

AR:
yr next excercise 
list down malaysia vs a spot u think is safe 
each section put down the pros and cons 
it shd include .. home and work environment 
we will go thru the list  
ok? 
50ringgit pls  


Ringgit :
but i didn't feel 'helped' - how to pay u! 
it's another disillusioned i have .. malaysians are all crooks! 


AR:
let me summarize what i gathered 
u r dissapointed with the malaysian system that u feel it's failing u and yr family 
hence this makes u angry and at times u were lost if this is a safe place for u and yr family 
u pretend a better day tommorow because u believe in ideal world 
however, where u living today is not meeting your expectations 
with all these accumulated .. u starting to feel disillusions followed by anger  
u want a safer place with more ideal system for yr family and yrself 

Ringgit:
good! 
i need to c&p this! 

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