Thursday, November 18, 2004

Post-Egypt blues...

"ringgit let go", anti-ringgit, my friend, said one day when I asked him a question about Egypt. That statement struck me because what he said was true - it's almost 4 weeks since our tour and I am still thinking about it. When I asked other people about post-tour blues, the common answers are sure, you do get one but it is unusual for it to last as long as this.

What anti-ringgit does not know is that the trip has caused those little wheels in my brains to start turning again.

Please let me explain. Constant reader of this blog would have known that I get bored easily. The term I use to express this is sien. I am extremely jaded. I have tried a lot of things to put some spice into my life - things that are in my circle of influence: learning to dance, playing a guitar, taking up courses (like, *cough* accounting) and seeing the world. I am constantly in search of something that intrigue me; something that I'd like to do; something that would make me laugh out loud, something that is fun; something that I look forward to everyday.

Unfortunately, I never found that thing.

My friend, Zip, used to ask "what makes ringgit tick?". I have no answer.

In fact, the whole point of thinking to move to AU is my thoughts on doing something different. Something different from the norm. It's not a permanent move. It will be for a couple of years but at least, if I looked back, these couple of years will be memorable. I could move from city to city (eg Melbourne to Sydney or maybe to Brisbane). What I need is the $ and the courage.. but I disgress.

So how does Egypt comes into this whole discussion? The Egyptians (ancient and otherwise) understand the purpose of life. 5,000 years ago, humans are already pondering on the purpose of life. They believe that the current life is only temporary and what's important is the 2nd life in heaven. They believe in God. And their beliefs were so strong that they lived to serve God - the whole civilization exist to serve God. Look at the temples they built. Look at all those reliefs or "ukiran" as worded by mystic_grey. Every single one of the Egyptians, from the farmers, to the workers, to the architects and the astronomers to the High Priests and to the Pharaohs live to serve God with the purpose of being given a 2nd life in heaven.

Fast forward to 2000 years ago. Christianity and later, Islam, came to Egypt. Instead of temples, the Egyptians built churches and mosques to worship God. There are so many churches and mosques in Cairo that it’s mind boggling! I mean, I come from a Muslim country and we see mosques but it pales in comparison to the sheer number of mosques in Cairo.

When I listened to Mido talking about Islam in Mohammad Ali Mosque, I was enthralled. To hear this man talking about his religion and proclaiming (loudly) his love for God with utmost pride, inside a mosque in a country like Egypt, is truly magical. Perhaps my mind was more vulnerable because of the "tourist-y" state of mind. Perhaps not.

Religion and patriotism (love of one's country) has been the staple of human's existence. People kills each other to uphold their belief in their religion and for the love of their country. Both of these factors drive and shape a person's life. Without either one of them, a person's soul is empty.

Like mine. Pointless. Empty.

Loving this country is something I could not bring myself to do. There's nothing to love about MY. If I had a chance, I'd sell out this country. There's definitely no lost love here. But seeking God and worshiping Him... that's highly probable.

5,000 years of human history with war and death to uphold a religion can't be wrong.

Right?

1 comment:

mystic_grey said...

hmm.. you know what, you need to seek something to satisfy you inside and not the exterior. That's our problem. we think that all these external things can satisfy our thirsting for a better life - a life that is not sien. But I think we both know its not true.
As for your move to AU. Maybe you should go since you haven't had the exprience living abroad before.

Regarding nothing to love about Malaysia... Well, i used to think that way. But I have something I love here in Malaysia - my family. When all things fails, your family will not fail you. When you're all alone in a different country with no life support, you will finally experience what I mean.

Remember my trip to India? That really made me appreciate malaysia much more. It may not be the best country in the world but like any country it has its good and bad. But in comparison to alot of places, we can at least still own a car, drive around, appreciate the fine things in life - eventhough not that luxurious ones.

Maybe your soul is thristing and hoping that it would be better outside of here. You should go then instead of just wondering maybe by taking the big leap, you would know. But big leaps comes with risk. I am not strong enough. And I know I won't be ever strong enough to go thru the trials in my life. But I have decided to bring up all my troubles to the only person who can help me - God. Eventhough, I have my doubts and fears, I am trying to my best to lift it up to HIM. I for one knows whats its like to be in a really really deep shit and not knowing how to dig myself out.

Take care...

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